Christmas 2011

The best picture we could get with the two boys:) We had a wonderful Christmas back home with my family and are excited for Ross's family Christmas in a week! We didn't get what we truly wanted for Christmas but are truly blessed with safe travels, and a healthy and happy family! Hopefully next year we will be able to have a family of 5 Christmas picture!!

Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and has a Happy 2012! We know BIG things are in our families future for 2012!

Blessings,

Ross & Anne

Merry Christmas!

Ross, I and the kids are off to WI tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with my family! We truly feel blessed even though the one thing we really want for Christmas this year we don't have. We have been blessed with amazing friends and family, good health, and stable jobs in an unstable economy.

I spoke with our social worker this week and she updated us with a few things. First being that baby girl is doing well and was placed with an amazing family. She continues to be a fighter. Great news:)

Secondly, all though the agency is at extreme slow times right now they did have an opportunity for a book show last week. Our social worker ended up not showing our book for the sole purpose that is was a showing with a different agency, which means you have to pay that agency's fees too. (let's say tack on an additional $8,000.....) This didn't really fit into our budget for the adoption and our social worker was aware of that. However, still hard to know another possible opportunity that we didn't take.

We hope 2012 brings us even more JOY! We wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

What not to ask waiting adoptive parents....

"have you heard anything yet?"

The infamous question that I get asked by someone at least twice a week. As if I don't have a constant reminder every day with the new baby clothes still being hung perfectly in the closet, the cell phone still not ringing, and As if my son praying to God every night asking for a baby isn't enough reminder of not hearing anything yet. (Don't get me wrong...I LOVE that Nolan prays for our baby nightly, but it is also sometimes a hard reality and I often wonder when/if he will ever stop praying for a baby to arrive.)

I can almost guarantee you, if we have heard something everyone will know! I will probably not even have to say anything for everyone to know. My face will be glowing, a smile permanently glued on my face. A smile that shows yes, we have heard something. Our family is complete. I'm hoping that smile comes sooner than later.

Happy Anniversary to my husband!

Today is Ross & I's 5th anniversary! We have came so far as a couple and I cannot wait to see our marriage grow and develop even more in the coming years. I love you so much Ross and cannot wait to see what the future holds for us! I pray we have another addition to our family before we celebrate our 6th anniversary! :)

Random Acts of Kindness

A few months ago, I saw an idea on pinterest that caught my eye. Doing random acts of kindness during the Christmas season. Every year our family chooses some sort of charity to give back to. Last year we adopted a family and the year before that donated to the local womens and childrens shelter. This year I really wanted to do something different though. Something that takes us out of our normal comfort zone and into a sometimes "uncomfortable" zone. I think that is why I was so drawn to these random acts of kindness. There will be times we are going up to random people and giving them items. I am not known to be someone who will go up to someone I have never met and strick up conversation, so this will be a bigger challenge to myself than my husband, who will talk to anyone with a beating heart! :)

Tomorrow, two random people will receive a loaf of my homemade banana bread. Friday, we are leaving our cleaning lady a loaf of bread and handing out a few cake pops. We have a list of things we will do throughout the month but I need some help! I want to send a gift basket anonymously to our adoption agency for them to give to one of the expectant parents but don't know what to include?! So if you have any ideas to share...please leave a comment or email me at: anneburau@hotmail.com.

I pray that we not only teach our children the true meaning of Christmas, but also teach others. I also pray that this changes us forever. I already feel God's hands in all of this and am so excited to share His word with others!

All I want for Christmas is...

Saw this picture on pinterest and couldn't help but think.....All I want for Christmas this year is...

A baby in a stocking of course! :) Such an adorable picture!!! And if our baby happens to arrive around Christmas some year, this is a must take picture!

As the holidays approach, and the busyness of the season arrive, it's still not hard to imagine the baby God is preparing for us. Not a day goes by that I do not think about our future baby and wonder, "Is today the day?" I know God has BIG plans for our family and he's waiting for the right time for those plans to unfold and until he is ready, we wait. And wait, and wait, and wait!

I found this video on our adoption agency's blog and just have to share it. This is a song by Mark Schulz who was adopted at birth. This song is to his birth mom. Grab some kleenex!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhqJYOYcnAU

National Adoption Month!

November is "National Adoption Month." During this time, the focus is on encouraging families to open their minds, hearts, and homes to children who need good homes. The focus is on foster care, but all adoption is included. We're praying extra hard this month for the children and families out there who will adopt and pray ever harder that our family will be one of them some day!

I noticed this month has been a little bit harder on the whole "waiting" process. As the days get colder and longer and our lives slow down a bit I'm noticing I'm extra anxious about bringing home our baby. Wondering how long we'll have to wait. Will it be a few months? few years? I hate that part. I know the right time will come but that doesn't make it any easier!

As we enter the holidays, we are extra thankful for our family & friends during this time. For the love, support, and friendship they have given us. We are very, very lucky.

1 Month

Today marks 1 month we have been officially waiting! I know there are probably many more months to wait but the first month sure flew by! We didn't do too much this month to get ready for Baby B except we did buy a few outfits and a few packs of diapers. It is a little challenging buying clothing when you don't know what sex or what season our baby will be arriving in so most of the outfits are white, green, or yellow onsies!

The next few months I hope to accumulate some baby necessities like wipes, more diapers, etc. Also on the look out for any hand-me down stuff!

Happy 1 month of waiting for our Baby B!

On the look out for these items!

Over the past few weeks, I have been collecting items that I want or need for Baby B. Here are a few items that I am on the outlook for. Love these books and necklace.

Family of 4

Yesterday, we spent our afternoon walking around Quarry Park and taking some family pictures. It was such a beautiful but HOT October day! Usually I am planning our fall family pictures around heavy sweaters and hope we don't get too cold! This year, I had fall clothing picked out and was trying to see how I could do fall clothes but remain cool! While taking our family pictures, I couldn't help but wonder if this would be our last yearly family photo as a family of 4. Or would there be many more years to come as a family of 4?? I guess only God knows but it sure was a question popping in my head throughout our photo shoot. And praying that our next family photo is our family of 5!

We had a much quieter week this week and were glad we had some time to reflect on our first "call" experience. We don't think or talk about that baby anymore which is a big step for us as the first few days after we said "no" we often made comments on "What if" and asking each other ..."are you thinking about her?" We now know and feel in our hearts 100% we did make the right decision for us, for our family, and for that baby.

"Tomorrow or in 2 years"

Anyone who has talked to me about our adoption plans has always asked, "So when will you get your baby?" And my answer is always the same. "Could be tomorrow, could be two years." I almost laugh at it every time because when I say "tomorrow" the chances of that really happening are pretty rare. Most of the time, we will get more of a notice. However, after this week of events "tomorrow or in 2 years" doesn't sound so crazy anymore.

We received a call Wednesday night (9/28) from "B" our social worker saying that a 19 year old had given birth 3 weeks ago to a 27 week old baby. 1lb 14 oz. (do you know how small that is?!) All our agency knew about the baby was that she was doing well for her age and the baby needs at least another 6 weeks in the NICU. We were asked if we wanted our profile shown to the birth mom on Friday. However, we had to have our answer to the agency by Thursday at 5pm. After a sleepless night on Wednesday night and a very unproductive day at work Thursday we called our social worker to see if she had heard anymore updates on the baby. Her updates were very positive. Baby has good hearing and vision, has been breathing on her own since day 3 (Crazy good), no bleeding in the brain, and is wide eyed and seems pretty alert for her age. This lifted our spirits and we were really leaning towards having our book shown.

However, after much prayer, tears, and conversations, we decided that we would not have our profile shown. Our main factor laying on the 6 week NICU stay. How that will affect us, our jobs, and our other two kids. Adding another baby to the family is such a huge transition for other children, and then to have to be away from them so much these next 6 weeks literally breaks my heart. The 6 weeks is also not guaranteed so it could easily turn into 7,8,9,etc weeks. The baby will be going home at around 4lbs which is still extremely small and means that the baby cannot be going out in public for quiet awhile. As a very active family, we knew this would be extremely hard on us.

Although we are truly at peace with our decision, I feel broken and sad thinking of this precious baby fighting for her life all alone in the hospital. I pray a good family got chosen for her on Friday. I pray the baby has a speedy time in the NICU and leaves there happy and healthy in 6 weeks. Please add this baby, the birth mom, and the family who became her family on Friday in your prayers.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

Adoption through a 3 year olds eyes

Over these last few months, Ross & I have been talking about adoption to the kids. I'm pretty confident that Ian gets it. However, we still have a little work to do with Nolan. Granted, he's 3. This is our conversation this morning as we were heading out the door to daycare....

me: Nolan, please get your shoes on, we need to get going.
Nolan: "no...you do it." (in his tired/whiny voice...)
me: Nolan, when we get a baby, you are going to have to do a lot of things like this yourself. Mom will be too busy getting the baby ready.
Nolan: So when is God going to knock on our door and drop the baby off?

Oh boy..... :) I can just imagine him right now....talking to his friends at daycare. "God's going to drop a baby off at my house!" So precious to hear how he tries to understand and make sense of this all.

Tonight I tried to explain to him that mommy will not have a baby in her tummy because that makes me really sick. But someone else will have a baby in their tummy and then give us the baby and the baby will be ours! He goes, "But Jamie has a baby in her tummy!" (our old daycare provider). I love that his wheels are spinning as he tries to make sense of this all!

Paper Pregnant!!!

It's official! We are paper pregnant! Home study was approved on 9/8/11, however I somehow didn't get the email telling me this so our social worker called me last Friday, 9/16 asking why I haven't responded! So after having the reality of it all hitting us over the weekend we are ready to submit our profile books and start the official waiting process! We truly believe God put adoption into our hearts and minds for a reason and know he would not let us get this far in the process if this was not the path he wanted for us. We are remaining Faithful to Him and know He has a big plan in all of this!

Our agency did mention they are having a "slow" time right now with birth parents so we are trying to prepare ourselves for this to take awhile.

However, I will continue updating the blog on any news we hear, our feelings while we're waiting, and any other adoption things that come along!

Thank you all for the prayers for our family during this time. You will all never truly know how much we appreciate every single one of them!

Love, Ross & Anne

Going on 8 months...

Well...September 1st marks the 8 month mark that we have been working on our adoption plan. Can't believe that it's taking this long. It's pretty disappointing. I could have almost had a baby myself during this time!

We received our home study in the mail the other day and reviewed it for errors. Unfortunately, there were a few errors so our SW will have to fix it and re-send. It has already been sent to her supervisor for approval and we are waiting (hopefully) any day now for her to approve it. (or not approve it I guess..) She has had it in her hands for two weeks so I'm really hoping to hear something back sooner than later.

I'm a little disappointed because our profile books have been done for months now and in that time I've taken so many more good pictures I would have loved to include in it! No going back now but makes me a little sad that I jumped into the books so fast.

Hoping I don't have to do a post "waiting for 9 months".........

Please pray that if this is in God's plan for us to become adoptive parents that we get approved soon. I don't know how much more he can possibly test my patience! :)

This journey we're on...

Wow--they aren't a kiddin' when they say this whole adoption thing is a journey. We have now been on this "journey" for a little over 7 months and our homestudy is still not approved! Unbelievable.

As hard as it's been just waiting for our homestudy to get approved, I know the real hard part hasn't even begun. Luckily, as we are waiting for our homestudy to get approved we have been super busy this summer so we really haven't had too much time to dwell on it! Knowing this is all in God's plan definitely makes it more comforting too. Either we aren't exactly ready yet, or the perfect child God has picked out for us isn't ready for us yet. Either way, we know it's just not our time.

I talked to our social worker today and our homestudy is off to get approved by her supervisor and in the mail for Ross & I to approve. As long as we approve it and her supervisor approves it, we are officially approved! How joyful that day will be when/if it comes!!! :)

Praying my next post is some super good news.

Until then,

Anne

Homestudy....still not approved :(

Just a quick update to let you know that our status still hasn't changed. Still waiting for our SW to get a hold of the doctor. It's beyond frustrating but we believe this is all in Gods plan so we will wait patiently! Never would of imagined us still waiting for our home study to get approved in the middle of July! Thought we would be a "waiting family" by June! Now, I'm just hoping to be waiting by August sometime!

Please pray for patience for us...we really need it now more than ever.

Doctors=Frusterating!

As expected...our SW is having a hard time getting a hold of the doctor. Can't believe we have been dealing with this for a month now and getting no where! It's very frusterating to say the least. We are really praying that she can get a hold of him this week and that our homestudy will be sent to us by weeks-end to review. We're getting a little on edge about everything and just want everything submitted and approved. 6 months working up to this and then everything just stands still....it can really drive a person crazy!

Prayers are greatly appreciated during this time.

Thanks!

Still waiting

Still nothing to update on.....waiting to hear back from our social worker on her conversation with Ross's doctor. We're getting a little inpatient but expected to have to wait a little longer. Ready to ship these profile books off to Bethany and be done looking at them!

Random fact

There are currently 23 families on the waiting list online for BCS in Minnesota. Out of those 23, 3 of them are currently pending placements. Can't wait to be one of them!

Minor road bump

Asking for some prayers as our home study completion should have been done by now but is now on hold due to a few issues that came up unexpectedly. When Ross and I had to go to the doctor for physicals for the adoption process, Ross got diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder). Not a big deal to us as we all have a little undiagnosed ADD in us, right?! We revealed this "diagnosis" to the adoption agency on our paperwork, but for some reason they didn't notice it until they were working on our home study. Apparently, this diagnosis needs to be dug into a little bit more so they need to talk to Ross's doctor. As we all know, doctors aren't the fastest at returning calls so this could be a whole separate waiting phase for us!

Please pray that the doctor responds to our social worker in a timely manner and with accurate information and pray that our social worker can understand the diagnosis better and know that even though Ross has an ADD digagnosis, he is still a great Father and his diagnosis does not affect his parenting abilities.

Thanks!

The boys reactions to our news...

I didn't include Ian in the picture where we announced our news because I just couldn't find a shirt that said that right thing. However, Ian is just as EXCITED as Nolan! In fact, we have been talking about adoption with them for some time and I have to journal what their reactions were for my sake because it was absolutely priceless and I don't ever want to forget it!!

When we told Ian that we were going to be adopting he looked at us and said, "Why are you giving me up for adoption?!" We laughed. And laughed and laughed. We told him that we were not going to be giving him up for adoption but that there would be a Mom out there that would be unable to care for her baby and would be giving us her baby to take care of! We explained that I would not have a baby growing in my tummy like I did when I was pregnant with Nolan. I think we may have confused him even more but his reaction was so priceless! I have no concerns with Ian about adding another baby to our family. He is a wonderful big brother to Nolan and has taken on the role so well!

With Nolan, it's a little different. Since he is only 3, he obviously doesn't understand adoption or where babies come from. Currently, he thinks that if you pray everynight for a baby you will eventually get one! So...everynight he adds to his prayers, "God, please give me a baby." Notice he says, "me.". This is Nolan's misunderstanding. He thinks that God will be bringing HIM a baby and it will be his little toy! He told me the baby will sleep with him and he will take care of it. Well...thank you Nolan! I try to remind him everyday that when the baby comes, he will no longer be the baby of the family and will then become a big brother and we will need his help around the house! This will hit Nolan the hardest, as most of you know...he has been our baby for 3 years and he LOVES being the baby. I know he will make a wonderful big brother though and am so excited to see him as one!

Our profile book

Today, I got our profile book in the mail to review before I print final copies. Love, love, love it! We have literally been working on the book since February so it is such a relief to have it finished. I think we did a great job of portraying who we really are and hope that the birth mothers who view it feel the same way!

Here are a few of my favorite pages of the book.

The Back Cover:

A page on parenting:

A page on the kids:

How we met:

Cover page inside of book:

Cover of book:

Sharing our news!!!

Welcome family and friends! We are so excited to finally share our news with you, as is Nolan:) Thank you for walking this journey with us and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers! You can read the beginning of our adoption journey here.

First few purchases for the little one!

Because I sold or gave away a majority of our baby things, I will have to re-buy or borrow pretty much everything!! It can be a little scary buying items for a baby that you don't have yet and don't know when you will be getting but I believe God put adoption in our hearts for a reason and will stay faithful to us during this journey. Here are a few of our first purchases! I forgot how fun it is to buy baby stuff!

Adoption classes

Yesterday, Ross & I attended a full day of adoption training classes. They went over everything from prenatal drug & alcohol exposure, to trans-racial parenting, to openness. My favorite part was having the panels of people come in and talk about their stories. It was very uplifting to listen to real adoption stories and hear how positive they turned out. It was also nice spending the day with other couples who are going through the same things we are. Tomorrow is our home visit. Looking forward to having that done and getting the homestudy complete!

Pictures for our profile book

A few weeks ago Ross and I went and got our pictures taken for our profile book. We wanted a few recent pictures of us. Now that we have kids, we never take any pictures of us in them! Our photographer did an amazing job, especially since it was super cold and windy that day! We had so much fun!

Interviews complete!

Ross & I are all done with our individual interviews with our social worker! They were pretty easy, basically just going through and asking questions about our self studies we had to do and confirming that our answers were the same as what we wrote. A week from today, our social worker will be coming to our house to do our home visit, talking with Ross & I some more, and talking with the boys. After that, she will be writting up our homestudy and we will be approved. We are so close, I can taste it!!!

Homestudy

Last night, Ross & I met our social worker who I will call "B" for the first time! We felt an intense connection with her and are excited to get to know her better. We scheduled the rest of our meetings and should be done with paperwork and meetings with her by the middle of May. It will then take her approximately a month to write up our homestudy report and then we will be officially waiting!

Super excited but also left there a little uneasy. She told us that families with children already wait much longer than people who have never had children. She has a few families who have been waiting over 2.5 years. This is by far the hardest part for us. Going into this and not knowing what the outcome will be. It's so scary but we are really relying on God to lead us and so far, we still feel 100% led that this is the path he wants us to take. B said that this first year will be the biggest test of our faith we will probably ever experience. We are more than ready to take on that challenge!!!

Fingerprinting:Complete!

This morning, Ross & I got our fingerprinting done! We also sent in our background check forms. We finally feel like we are making some progress! We are supposed to be finding out our social worker this week. Excited to meet her!

Waiting for a social worker

Well, the agency contacted us this week and said we would probably be waiting another week to hear from our social worker. They are doing some re-arranging in the offices and re-assigning cases. We should know by next Wednesday and be able to meet her and get the next step going! They did tell us to get physicals for the rest of the family members in the family to get started on that step. My physical is already completed and Nolan got his 3 year physical done in February so he is done too! I faxed his doctor the paperwork to complete yesterday and she had it back to me by days end. Amazing! Ross and Ian have their physicals at the end of the month and then we can check that step off!!

Thinking now that we won't be "officially" waiting until around the beginning of June. It seems the agency is extremely busy and maybe possibly short staffed so the process is not going as fast as other adoptions I know have. Trying to keep reminding myself that this is all part of God's plan and that he is teaching us to be patient and wait for Him!

God's timing is always good!

We have been formally approved!!!! We received the letter today and are more than happy to move on to the next step which will consist of some essay questions, referrals, doctor appointment for Ross, fingerprinting, background checks, and then..the home study!!!

Some other good news is that we just did our taxes today and had a really good tax year. I have been stressing out so much lately knowing that some larger agency fees were due soon and wondering how we were going to pay them but as we know, God always provides and he showed through today when we received a very nice tax return. Enough to help us through a few more stages in the adoption!!

We are excited that we will be announcing our adoption soon too!!! We wanted to make sure we were formally approved with the agency and also that my health concerns were taken care of. I didn't want to tell everyone we were doing this and then find out we were denied because of something. So if you are reading this now....we have announced it!

Still waiting...

Last Monday, 2.14, I had an appointment with my Rheumatologist for her to fill out some paperwork for me for the adoption. I also had to sign off to have all my records sent to BCS. By Monday afternoon, BCS had mailed a letter to request more information to my doctor. So, we are just waiting for them to be o.k. with my condition and either ask more questions, or approve us so we can finally move on to the formal application. I'm becoming increasingly more frusterated as I thought this process would move along much faster. I had first hoped to be "paper pregnant" by April but considering next week is already March it's probably going to be closer to Juneish.

I'm starting to really feel for the women out there that have struggled with infertility. I feel like I am walking in their shoes. I am so greatful that I have had the chance to experience being pregnant and giving birth, but at the same time, I long to be able to experience it just once more. There are so many of my friends and family that are eithe pregnant right now or just had babies and as much as I am truly happy for them, it hurts a piece of me at the same time. I hope someday this heartbreak can be healed and when we hold our new baby, that pain will all finally go away. Hopefully my next post will be announcing we are moving on to the next step!!!

Mandatory Adoption Meeting: Complete!

On Thursday, 2/3, we attended the mandatory adoption meeting that BCS offers. The meeting was pretty informal and they even opened the floor up for people to ask questions. We felt really good after the meeting, getting all of our questions answered. One of our major concerns about adoption is a pretty common one. The risk of bringing baby home and having the birth mom have a change of heart and take him/her back. This is a risk that everyone who goes into Domestic adoption is well aware of and seems to be always over our heads. A statistic that they gave us on Thursday regarding this was in 2009 they placed 17 adoptions in the Plymouth office and two of them ended up with the birth mother changing her mind. To me, that is a pretty good statistic. It's something that you have to just leave up to God and know that He is good with everything he does!

We are Pre-Approved!

Yah! Our Pre-Approval letter finally came! We received the packet of papers on 1/26 and immediately started processing them. Statements of Faith, financials, taxes, backround information, etc. I emailed the whole packet complete back today! We should hopefully find out soon if we can move on to the next level which is the formal application. Also, this Thursday we attend the mandatory adoption meeting. Excited to check things off the list and get closer to bringing home our baby!

I'm Waiting on you Lord....

I have a feeling this song will be our theme song throughout this adoption.

Waiting can be so hard but we will be Faithful to the Lord and Worship Him while we wait to bring home our baby.

While I'm waiting....

Step 1:Complete

The first step of the adoption process is complete! Even though this is a very small step in the skeme of things, it's still just as important! We completed our preliminary application and submitted it. This application is pretty basic and it's basically just making sure you live in the area of the agency and have jobs, etc. We should find out soon if we have "passed" and made it to the next level.

We will also be attending a mandatory adoptiong meeting the first week in February. Every couple that chooses to adopt from this agency must complete this meeting.

The agency we ended up choosing is Bethany Christian Services. We researched a few of the agencies and after having some people refer us to them and talking with the coordinator we feel this is the best fit for us. (www.bethany.org)

What brought us here...

After Nolan was born, because of my hard pregnancy and having a lupus flare up after delivering, we decided that we were not going to have anymore. The risks were high and the outcome not promising. We felt that it was meant to be that we would just have Nolan. (& Of course Ian). We accepted it but never fully and almost a year ago adoption seemed to lay really heavy in my heart. I read books, blogs, and websites. The more I read the more I realized that it is a possibility for our family. I started to talk to Ross about it and at first he was not very open to it. I think the cost, paperwork, and stress were too much for him to consider it. After all, we were already going through some other things in our life that were pretty stressful and busy.

After many hours of praying, researching, crying, and talking we have decided to pursue an adoption as a way to expand our family. We will be pursuing the infant domestic adoption program and already cannot wait to bring home our little bundle of joy!!!

As you follow our blog, please remember to not only keep our family in your prayers but to keep the Mothers that are out there making that selfless decision to give their baby up for adoption also in your prayers. They are all making the hardest decision of their lives and because of it are fulfilling many wishes for people like us who cannot expand their family biologically. We are ready to take a huge leap of Faith!!!