Another failed attempt at a profile showing

Well...another profile showing that fell through. I know you are probably thinking, "you've got to be kidding." I'm not. I was in shock too. Apparently there were 24 families that wanted to be shown and the agency said that was too many and way too overwhelming for the birth parents. (which I completely agree). So they ended up choosing 10 and choose the families who have been waiting the longest and families who have already adopted. (this was one preference the birth family wanted).

We've had 4 chances to show our profile now. Two of them we rejected, and two of them have fallen apart. I just want our profile book shown at least once! It's a little frustrating to think we've been waiting for 5 months and haven't been able to show our book yet.

When I first got the call that our book wouldn't be shown I have to admit, the tears were a'flowin'. I was driving to go pick up Nolan from daycare and I kept saying, "Really God?! Really?! Is this a joke?! What are you trying to do to me?" And then I became completely at peace when I stopped yelling at God and really listened to him. Listened to him tell me that it was going to be OK and he has bigger and better things for us planned. It's not our time and when our time comes, it's going to be perfect. Then, I went home and ate like 5lbs of valentine chocolates. (I'm an emotional eater. Back off). Plus, it was dark chocolate which makes it ok, right?

There were a few things about this adoption that we didn't like anyways. First being the birth parents were adamant about naming the child. I was having a hard time with this but realized that I needed to let it go, even though it bothered me. The 2nd thing that bothered me was the birth mom was due April 5th. Just one day before we were planning on leaving for our family vacation to California. Don't get me wrong...if the time comes and we become parents again around this time, we will happily cancel our trip, but it was something that did "bother" me about this one.

So back to square one where we wait again. Maybe next time we get a call for a profile showing, I'll wait until AFTER the showing to post about it. I feel like I'm jinxing myself!