Reflections

God always works in such crazy ways and sometimes it just takes you to sit down and reflect to make you really realize it.  I've been reflecting on our adoption journey a lot lately.  I've been so crazy busy that I realized I really haven't had much time to really even worry or stress much about the adoption.  With everything else going on in our lives, God somehow decided to plant a seed in my little head to start a photography business on the side and this "business" has been taking up every waking spare moment of my life.  I have met some incredible people this fall and I want to truly thank each and every person who has let me take their fall pictures this year.  It has  been such a time commitment for me that it has replaced the nights that I would be sitting in front of my computer reading successful adoption stories on blogs, tears streaming down my face and wondering why it wasn't us that was picked.  Instead, I am faced with editing pictures every night.  Staring at the faces of these families and children and laughing at some of the hilarious outtakes.  The glimmer in their eyes, dimples in their cheeks, and wind burned faces places comfort in my heart knowing that our family has hope for that completion feeling someday too. 

I went to school to be a teacher but never taught.  God is using my creativity in a way that I never imagined.  Where will this photography side business take me?  Who knows.  But for now, I am loving every second of it and loving the distraction is has provided for me.  And look at how super cute my logo turned out?!  I love it and it is SO me!

Decision

It's with much frusteration, and a few tears that I tell you that we were not choosen today.  Part of me knew it wouldn't be us, but the feeling of rejection and not being "good enough" sting.  Our hearts hurt and our arms remain empty as we long to complete our family.

The family that was chosen is a family who has adopted already, a story we are all too familiar with by now.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers today.  As I've said before, it's just not our time and there is a plan in all of this.

Good night!

Ross & Anne

Profile Showing

I am literally shaking as I right this post but here it goes.

Today, we had a profile showing.  10 families were choosen to be shown and we just received word that we made it in the top 3! We.are.in.shock.!

Our social worker said here are a few things she liked about our profile:
-That Ross & I seem to have a lot of trust in each other
-She liked that we have young children in our neighborhood
-She liked the pictures of our cabin
-And she liked that we loved to travel and loved family traditions :)

She took the top 3 profiles home and our social worker will be following up with her on Thursday.  Baby is due the day before Thanksgiving! (Approximately 4 weeks!)

We ask for your prayers during this time for us, for the birth mom, and for the other two families that she is considering. There is some risk with this birth mom as she is not 100% right now for adoption. She is about 80%.  This makes us a little nervous but we know that God has a plan in all of this! 

I will update with more news as soon as I know!

Fall Update

Unfortunately, it's been a slow start to our fall with the adoption. We have barely heard "boo" from our social worker!  We just received an update for what is coming up and  right now the agency has two inquiries.  Two Birth moms who are very early on in their pregnancies and wanting info on parenting and adoption.  So it will be interesting to see where these two end up leaning towards!

Our family remains very busy and keeping our minds off the whole "waiting."  We had our youngest nephew overnight a week ago and it was fun to see what it's like with 3 kids!  A little crazy, but fun crazy!  Nolan kept asking if we were going to keep him and if he was the baby God is giving to us.  I told him I think his mom would be pretty sad if we kept him and we have to give this baby back!  He still hasn't quite grasped the whole adoption thing yet :)

Other than that, we're just keeping busy and waiting for "the call!"....

One Year

Today marks one year waiting for our baby.  Somedays it seems longer than a year and somedays it seems shorter.  Usually though, it feels longer.  We have been officially on the waiting list for 1 year but it took us almost 1 year to get to the waiting list and we started talking about adoption 1 year before that.  So you can see where I am going with this whole waiting thing....So instead of dwelling on the fact that we have been waiting a year I want today to be a happy day and be thankful of what we have already been blessed with.  Thank you for your continued support and prayers while we trudge through this journey.  We are praying that we are coming to the end of our waiting. 



Baby Burau, we know you are going to be worth every second of waiting and we cannot wait until we meet you!  We dream of what you will look like and how we will meet and I know that when the time comes, it will be so much better than our dreams! 


Romans 12:12
Be joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, Faithful in prayer

Profile Showing

Today we had another profile showing.  At first, the birth mom did not have any preferences other than she did not want to look at anymore than 10 profile books.  When this happens, the agency picks the families who have been waiting the longest.  So even though it's frustrating we have been waiting so long, in this situation it ended up being a good thing!  We were one of the 10 books that were shown.  The bad news is right when she sat down, the first families she eliminated were families with biological children :/ Apparently this is a common trend right now....eliminating families with biological children.  Very frustrating to say the least.

Our new social worker came to meet us tonight and we like her a lot.  Mostly because she seems as upset as we are that we have only had two profile showings!  She says she doesn't understand and wants to reverse that for us this year.  I am hopeful with a new social worker, new eyes on our case, we will have more "looks" this year.  I am excited for a new year and hopefully can start to get more positive on the situation!

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for us! We know our time is coming and are remaining faithful that we were lead to adoption for a reason!!! 

Homestudy renewal paperwork...done!!

Today the renewal paperwork went in the mail! It was my #1 goal for my week off this week so I was thrilled to put it in the mail box today.  We will have to wait for approval again but I don't see why there would be any reason we wouldn't get approved..nothing has changed! 

I read this on another adoption blog and it brought tears to my eyes. God is faithful even during the waiting process!  This also reminds me of Nolan and all his questions on the baby.  He has been asking more frequently when we will be getting a baby and told me that I need to ask God louder because he probably just can't hear me :)


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate ,
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, You promised, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
'I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.'"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel,
And His eyes met with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"All you seek I could give and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want-----
But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, Wait."

-Wait by Russel Kelfer

We talked  with our social worker this week and she gave us the news that she is leaving the agency.  As saddened as we are by this, we understand her decision to leave and wish her the best in the future.  I pray we get a replacement for her soon!  Also, as our 1 year of waiting approaches we feel that we need to "market" ourselves a little more so I will be working on an adoption facebook page, slide show of pictures, and an adoption website.  I've now seen a few people who have had successful adoptions by opening their lives up to the world wide web!  As scary as it sounds, I think after the first year of nothing happening, it's something we need to at least try. 

Monday I am back to work at my new job!  Excited for a change but also nervous for everything to go well.  Prayers are greatly appreciated!